Sunday, July 30, 2006

So Tired, Tired of Waiting...

...Tired of waiting for REAL FOOD! (with apologies to my main man, Mr. Raymond Douglas Davies.) After, what now, 31 days in the hospital, "it can't get much worse" (apologies to Les Beatles). Nothing on my tray ever seems to have crossed paths with a salt shaker and, puh-leeze, must I add it even to my mashed potatoes? (And, no, I am not on a salt-restricted diet; alas, I am on the one referred to by the dietician as the "regular" one. All is just bland, bland, bland!) Even some of my former food loves, such as the fabulously sexy and green asparagus stalk, ends up on my plate as anorexic "asparagus cuts"--skinny diagonally-cut overcooked bits resembling some kind of canned green bean more than anything else I can easily recognize. Even the little packages of lemon juice I stockpiled in my room from a trip to the cafeteria last week cannot revivify these poor little limp things. [sniff, sniff.]

Breakfast, unless there's a slice of toast or half a bagel, usually features some kind of hot dish, like waffles or pancakes. The peculiar feature here is that hospital "plating" technique requires that the bottom one be "glued" to the plate with a dab of applesauce, which, after the completed plate (with waffle or pancake's "mate" and a sausage pattie or couple of little links added) is heated with its lid on, guarantees that one-arm abled patients, such as moi, cannot cut the bottom breakfast item with only a fork (merde!) Oh! And since the dietician paid me a personal call last Wednesday, I have had my morning chocolate milk disappear, my specially ordered tossed salad at both lunch and dinner disappear after the first two days, and no drink except water included for lunch and dinner. Weird how none of the errors or corrections seem to show up on the computer!

Guess this just goes to show how much I need to go home soon, huh? :-))


Blogger drbiggles said...

Yeah, ain't that stuff a huge load of nothin'? I pretty much lived on ensure and jello. Nothing else was worth bothering with. Oh wait, the bread roll thing with real butter, that helped. If it wasn't for the pain killers, I would have passed from sheer boredom. Maybe if they had xbox or something going on, that would help!


5:54 PM  

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